wow//week16

As tears streamed down her face, I could barely make out what she was saying. But the tears said enough. The muffled words, “HIV positive” finally hit me, like the soccer ball that had found my nose last week.

Positive? What a funny choice of word for something that is anything but positive. The medical world sure isn’t language sensitive. Stop it Jenna! Say something. Anything. Uh… God, help?

Nothing could have prepared me for Monday morning. As I left the clinic with my friend Pumla, I was searching for words. Any words would be fine. Just as long as I spoke. All I could say is “wow.”

Wow?

Of all things to say. But how do you respond to news that your friend, whom you encouraged to get tested, is infected with a virus that is pillaging the earth?

I say wow. And then I cry. A lot.

Since that shattering morning, the week has dealt long waits in the public clinic, tears, hard conversations, more tears and heaps of questions. We’ve had more blood tests, more counseling, more news breaking and more crying.

At the end of the day, I sit here questioning anything and everything. Why Pumla? What next? Why am I not a medical genius? And why did I bring my flat iron to Africa? Okay, the last question is totally irrelevant, but it goes to show how my mind doesn’t know how to handle the crucial and the trivial all in one brain. It’s never had to before. Sure, I’ve watched family friends suffer thru cancer, which has been tough. But we live in America- there’s hope.

Where’s the hope for a 23-year-old woman living in a small township with no parents, job or education? She cannot even afford a simple multivitamin to keep her immune system fighting. And without her health, well it’s a quick ride down the hill.

I wish I had a happy ending to this story or a feel-good realization about how good our God is. And don’t get me wrong, I know our Lord is sovereign- in fact I’ve already seen his hand at work. And yes, we’ve been known to smile and laugh this week. But the reality is, I don’t know how long I’ll be hugging Pumla.


Wow.